The joys of doing a night shift when you have two kids

I fell asleep (if you don't count a short nap on the sofa) shortly before midnight. Around 1:30, I woke up frantically searching for Bibbo who got lost. I woke J up by almost pulling his arm off because I was afraid he might have fallen asleep on top of the baby. "He's in his bed", J said. And this made a lot of sense because Bibbo's always in his bed.
I managed to get back to sleep feeling confused after a scary dream that melted into reality until around 2:30 I heard Moki cry and scream. I ran into her room before she could wake Bibbo up and gave her a hug. I told her "Bibbo's in his bed" because that was the most soothing thing I could think of saying to calm her down from a bad dream. Around 4, she was awake again. This time she also woke her brother up. I gave them both their dummies, but Bibbo was wide awake. "Shhh..." I said, "You're in your bed" but that was exactly where he didn't want to be. So it was feeding time. Around 4:30 he was almost asleep again. I put him down, excited about finally going to bed, when I noticed he was taking a poo. I briefly considered pretending I didn't see it and acting all surprised in the morning because honestly, anything sounded better than waking him up again. I am not an asshole though so nappy change time it was. I carefully avoided eye contact but regardless of all of my efforts, Bibbo was smiley, happy and definitely not asleep.
Around 5:30 he finally fell asleep on the sofa and I made myself comfortable, already decided not to move until morning... Except that fifteen minutes later I heard my beloved daughter shouting for water extremely loudly and with a lot of determination. So I carried Bibbo back to his bed because I was scared he might fall of the sofa, saved Moki's life by handing her a water bottle that was right next to her bed and squeezed into her tiny bed with her, telling her a story at 6 a.m.
At 7:15 our day started again, with all the crying and screaming and trying to stay calm. I'm determined to have a pleasant morning so I just dropped Moki off at the daycare, fed Bibbo and we're both about to take a nap in the car, in the parking lot. I'm just hoping all this rain will distract passers by from looking in and calling the police.

How you change with a second baby, an empirical study, part III: Showering

Baby number one: you feed the baby and put her down on her playmat to play while you quickly take a shower. As soon as you get into the shower, you can hear the baby hysterically cry. You turn the water off and listen. Everything's silent. Instead of calming you down, this makes you jump out of the shower and run into the lounge to save your baby from whatever horrible thing that was happening to her. You find her happily playing. Back into the shower. Crying again. Water off again. Run into the lounge again. Repeat the whole process again. Give up on the shower. They say that happy mama equals happy baby but you're only happy if you can look at your baby's smiling face ALL the time, making sure she's safe.

Baby number two: you feed the baby and put him down on his playmat to play while you take a shower. You take a shower, wash your hair, sing loudly to yourself. You get out of the shower to find your baby happily playing on the playmat. You say: "Oh, hello, you're here!" and go prepare breakfast. You feel like some nice toast this morning.

Potty training III

Among other dirty clothes I've been given to take home from the daycare to wash was a pair of slippers with poo on the soles. I asked Moki if she's taken a poo on the floor (again) and then stepped into it (again). She looked at me pensively and said (in Croatian): "No floor, mama. Carpet."

Potty training II

Moki's been potty training for two weeks now. At the daycare they told us to bring in extra clothes for the "accidents". Yesterday I brought in five pairs of trousers and tights and six undies. Moki came home in someone else's clothes and I was handed a bag full of laundry.

Potty training I

Moki's been potty training for two weeks now. This means she doesn't wear any nappies whenever she's inside. During that time she successfully took four poos. Two out of four times she pulled down her trousers first. Zero out of four times did she actually use the potty.

Cannibalism

I find Bibbo so cute that it demands a lot of will power not to bite off his cheeks while I'm watching him sleep.

The fall

Bibbo fell of the sofa a few days ago, while J was sitting right next to him. These kinds of accidents are a lot less painful with the second child. I didn't cry at all.
On the bright side: Bibbo laughed out loud for the first time later that day. It's possible that the fall killed some of his brain cells so he finally started to find J funny.

A disappointing suggestion

J: "M, would you like me to give you something?"
M: "Yes!"
J: "I'll give you a bath!"